Couple longing for community
- Seeking Community
- Trondheim, Norway (Europe)
we are Linn and Leif-Conrad. Two vulnerable, tired, beautiful human beings, who long deeply for community. For deep connection with others and making a place our home in collaboration with others.
Part of me wants to desperately explain how incredibly serious and eager I am in wanting to achieve heartfelt cooperation. Also to prove my lojalty and dedication to Emotional liberation (nonviolent communication), healing and soothing inner children and cooperating with the inner family of others (Internal family systems) and reaching for Yellow+(spiral dynamics), even whilst being worn down, reduced and stressed. By doing so write a testament to the resources, skills, willpower, joy, love and exhileration I find in connecting more with myself, Linn, other people, animals, life, death, the earth and the universe. That with a little help and support I can help pave the way into harmony and help inner and outer processes, visions and needs align better and more truly.
Still, I would show that side of me out of anxiety and fear. It would be more of a mask, a persona, one that I only truly start to let go of with my partner, and partly in dyads (the dyad inquiry project).
Can I show something else here? I am not sure. My needs, wishes and hopes are to me like a seed I have kept clinging to my whole life, and not finding anywhere it wants to grow. As I see it I am craving a whole different paradigm.
I am searching for a life partner, but in the form of a community, a land and a living, and the only guideline I have at the moment is that whoever is reading this really wants me, and my partner. And we really want them. And the frailty in me right now, the vulnerability that I might never get there. It is painful to connect with my hunger for deep connection, cooperation, understanding and freedom, to such a degree that I am fearful of hoping too little, and scared that I will jump on the first wagon that comes a long, as any tiny bite will at least fill my stomach. To stay with the beauty of the need (Robert Gonzales), and also long to share and be able to see more of the beauty, in me and around me.
I am a sensitive, introverted change-maker. I am writing this with the hopes of finding my soul-family. I long deeply for community. For deep long-lasting bonds with others, and living and learning together. The depth of this longing seems impossible to put into words.
It is with a sense of both nervousness and eagerness that I write this. What will this lead to? Who knows. Right now it feels really good to acknowledge my dreams.
More about me: I live in Norway, with my partner who I met almost five years ago. I was born in Norway and have lived here all my life. I value authenticity and have great capacity for authentic communication – with compassion. Being able to understand myself and others better through internal work, in collaboration with others, is something I find very rewarding.
Two years ago I had a Kundalini-awakening and I’ve been doing intense internal work ever since. The friendships I had fell away quickly at that time, and the one relationship that remained and came through stronger is the one with my partner. Right now I am at a place where it intuitively feels right to put this out there, and at the same time I feel really stressed when thinking about even talking to someone. So, I long for community, but am intensely sensitive, and need to take it slow.
The relationship I share with my partner is a source of inspiration and a catalyst for growth for me. I have also found a deep appreciation for the sharing of the everyday life, and all that that entails. This has given me the courage to allow myself to dream big, and connect with my deepest longings. And the longing for connection, reciprocity, nurturing and co-creating in community is what I am connecting with in myself.
I long to put down roots somewhere and grow into the big, beautiful tree that I sense I have the potential to become. Right now I am a seed bursting with energy. I long for the land and people that is an energetic match, where what I have to offer is welcomed. In order to bloom I need softness and nurturing. I have great capacity when it comes to energetic and emotional work. I am all about process-work, and with that comes an allowing of things to take its time.
For the right community I am willing to move across the world. However I realise there would be many steps to get to that point. Building the trust that it takes both ways is something I am both nervous about taking on, and also eager to do.
To the reader of this, fellow seekers, others with similar longings, people already in community:
In communication we strive for equality, reciprocity whilst also being self-responsible and taking care of ourselves. As we hope you will too. If this resonated with you send an e-mail: [email protected] / [email protected]
Leif-Conrad Selasky and Linn Rebni