The Bookends of Community

Placeholder image for Foundation for Intentional Community website.
Codicts Team
  • December 7, 2012
  • Relationships
Black gloves holding a book with a white cover and black spine.

Author: Elizabeth Barrette
Published in Communities Magazine Issue #157

Endings and beginnings are like bookends: they mark where things start and stop, and thereby hold together everything that lies between them. By making a clear demarcation of these points, we strengthen the boundaries so that things don’t just dribble off into nowhere, like books tumbling off the open end of a shelf. These boundaries then give structure to our individual lives and to the communities we create.

What To Mark

The first consideration is what to mark. Not everyone cares about the same kinds of events. So different people choose different ones as significant. The type of beginnings and endings you recognize will affect the shape of your personal life and the mood of your community.

For example, some people easily start loads of new projects, but rarely finish them—like always reading a bunch of books at the same time. There wouldn’t be much point to recognizing the beginnings, except for truly momentous ones. What they need to recognize is the ending, because this encourages progress toward the finished product. Conversely, some people have a hard time getting started—they’re readily daunted by a blank page—but they complete almost everything once they do get started. So they need support at the front end.

Most people also like to celebrate life passages such as marriage, childbirth, divorce, and death. These may be beginnings or endings, but often include aspects of both. Then there are important aspects of life that often don’t get celebrated—reaching puberty, buying a house, entering or leaving a job, retiring, etc. Community can provide social support for those occasions, too, if you want it to do so.

In community, the things you recognize collectively in some way gain importance from that recognition. Make sure that what you choose to recognize aligns with ideals you uphold or goals you desire to achieve. These choices help distinguish different communities from each other, making it easier for seekers to find the right place to settle. Many communities mark the beginning and end of major construction projects, when someone joins or leaves the community, the turning of the year, and so forth.

Then there are more distinctive choices. A community interested in activism might open and close support for causes such as a proposed law or a social project. An ecovillage might recognize planting a tree, breaking ground for a new garden, undertaking or completing study of a green building technique, or finishing a compost pile that’s ready to be spread. A community focused on health might honor someone for going vegetarian or completing their marathon training, and celebrate the establishment of a new hiking trail or the ceremonial disposal of a distracting television set.

All of this makes a good topic for a community meeting. Get together and talk about your favorite bookends. What beginnings and endings have you celebrated in your personal lives? What events does your current community customarily mark? What things have you seen other people celebrating? What marks have you missed, that you would like to celebrate? What is your community known for? What are some of your major themes and goals? Jot down ideas and see if any of that suggests bookends that you might want to acknowledge in the future.

How To Mark It

To mark beginnings and endings, you need an application of time and attention. This can be something relatively simple, or more elaborate, as you prefer. Consider the nature of the event at hand; small things require less acknowledgment than big things. Events that repeat or progress may benefit from a minor mark after each phase, and a major one at the ultimate conclusion. Events that happen only once deserve a bigger celebration.

Compare different forms of recognition. A logbook is a great method for things that involve a bunch of people over time: marking the beginning and end of visits, miles clocked on a jogging trail, fruits or vegetables currently in season. These help us mark the passing of time as well as specific accomplishments or opportunities. Public acclaim, such as an announcement with applause, is a good component for service done or goals met. This is especially apt if what the person did benefits the community. Awards, plaques, ribbons, etc. are well known as end markers; but there are also “participant” badges or tokens given at the start of projects, which help foster a collective identity and investment in the process. For ongoing projects, you may want a progress meter with clear start and end points. A communal feast, game, or other festive activity gives a sense of release and reward, encouraging people to relax after their hard work.

Think about how many people you want to involve. Very personal, private matters should be handled in a low-key way with no more than a few people. Personal but public things draw in a substantial number of friends and family members. Topics of interest to a subset of your community will attract their core participants, but if you make them open to other community members, then you may get new participants to join. Topics that affect the whole community should be designed with everyone in mind, aimed for a time and place where as many people as possible can attend.

A ceremony can be simple or complex, spiritual or secular. Draw on your community’s theme and traditions for inspiration in this regard. The more you can weave those into your events, the more you manifest your ideals. You may also find inspiration in the “Spirituality” issue of Communities magazine (#154).

Pay attention to these things and try out different ways of acknowledging the beginnings and endings in your community. Discuss what seems to work for you and what doesn’t. The traditions unique from your community will evolve naturally as you repeat the most effective ones, leaving you with a stable set of bookends supporting your life together.

Comments

Featured Blogs

Keep the conversation going with these pieces

Codicts Team
Mon Dec 2016
  • Governance
Next month, I’ll be moving into a house owned by a “community landlord.” Rather than simply renting out rooms in the house, the homeowner (who no longer lives on the property), specifically sought out a group of people who wanted to build community there. Three of us will be the primary tenants w…
Codicts Team
Fri Jul 2017
  • New to community
  • Economics & Law
Those living with disabilities have many options for finding community; here are suggestions on where and how to look.
Codicts Team
Thu Sep 2007
  • New to community
Here’s some great exposure for the movement. A multi-page article on on Ecovillage at Ithaca in TIME magazine. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1659708,00.html
Codicts Team
Sun Dec 2007
  • New to community
  • Sustainability
A Boston real estate paper reported on the completion of a new cohousing development, Richdale Place Cohousing. This is a developer driven cohousing community and is built as single building rather than townhouses (common for more urban cohousing). But its not clear how much community has been buil…
Sky Blue
Sat May 2016
  • Sustainability
Jump-start Your Career Contributing to a More Sustainable Future! By Jenny Godwin, CoHousing Solutions Collaborative communities across the country need project managers and marketing assistance to help them realize their dreams. CoHousing Solutions’ 500 Communities Program is halfway through …
Codicts Team
Sun Jan 2015
  • Life Transitions
Most of us can only handle stacking, storing and stepping over our stuff for so long before we start to feel claustrophobic. We go on a cleaning spree and give (or sell) it all away. But that’s only a temporary fix. Living small requires a more permanent shift. You might find it hard to believe, but…
Codicts Team
Thu Jul 2013
  • Life Transitions
Permaculture is all about one part of a system trying to help another, so this is our attempt to help replicate that, by sharing permaculture knowledge as freely and as widely as we can. In this section you’ll find a selection of completely free eBook downloads on permaculture and wider environme…
Codicts Team
Sat May 2017
  • New to community
A Deeper Look Communities Movement Research By Ma’ikwe Ludwig, FIC Development Director (and Junior Researcher) I’ve been looking at data again. I’ve done this on again off again for the past few years for the various nonprofits I work with, but this data is way more fun than, say, budget n…
Codicts Team
Tue Sep 2009
  • New to community
Especially in financially uncertain times, those seeking the advantages of intentional community living can often find them within a single shared house.
Codicts Team
Thu Dec 2017
  • New to community
  • Sustainability
While it involves inevitable struggles, this replicable model both forms community and provides an ecological framework for living in the city.

Insights & Stories from the Communities Movement

Subscribe to our newsletter for fresh stories and community updates delivered to your inbox.

Join the Communiversity Community

Get unlimited access to courses, exclusive member events, and a supportive network of community builders

Unlimited Learning

Access all courses, books, and premium content

Community Network

Member-only workshops and community builders

Exclusive Events

Member-only workshops and gatherings

Update to a Public Profile

  • Log in
  • Go to your profile page
  • Toggle on the "Add my profile to the directory"
  • Save your profile

Information

Communities

A residential project: people live here as their primary home.

Organizations

An institution, business, network, or project that isn’t a residence (e.g. a learning center, farm, or network with no one living there full-time).

Plus Community Membership

  • Find people with Profile Match
  • Access to your community listing statistics
  • Create Discussion Groups
  • Access to our affiliate program
  • Member badge on your community profile
I am an official member of this community
Disclaimer
I affirm that my information is accurate and I am authorized to manage this listing
Foundation for Intentional Community FIC Member badge logo.

Free Plan

Free Membership
Free

Intentional Advertising

  • Subtotal

    {{ currencyFormat( pricing_summary.total_amount ) }}

Icon representing community connections and collaboration for intentional communities.

Plus Membership

We’re introducing new Plus features — including community reviews, Profile Match, and unlimited Needs & Offers posts — while keeping most of FIC free for everyone. Membership costs less than two coffees a month. 

  • Find communities with Profile Match
  • View detailed reviews about communities
  • Create free listings in Needs & Offers
  • Plus Member resources in CommUniversity
  • View communities detailed reviews
  • Plus Member badge on your profile